Black People Play ‘Black Card Revoked’

– You in the car, she turn around and go, “Don’t touch nothing,
don’t look at nothing, don’t ask for nothing, or
you get a ass whooping.” (electronic music) – She’s gonna lose her black card today. – First of all, Carlton Banks over here… – I’m just hoping to
at least keep one card. I feel like cats have nine lives, I feel like we should get
more than one black card. – There are levels to blackness. – You lose an Uno card,
you’re still playing Uno. – The game is not over. – Nor do you win. – Ron is like soy milk, gluten-free black. – Oh, it’s been through some things. – Well, yes, it’s a black card. – Now I’m scared to lose it. (funky music) – Oh, this gives me anxiety. (Key laughs) I’m not a good test-taker, God. – Stop, drop, shut ’em down open up shop.
– shut ’em down open up shop. – You’re gonna stop– It’s, yeah– – Drop, shut ’em down, open up shop
– Open up shop. – The thing is… – There are several answers. – This is a multifaceted question. Now, if you’re dealing with police, stop and get a camera. – I have no idea what any of that is. Can we phone a friend? – Is this from the Bible? – No! – You know what, Brenda
sounds like it might have– – No, Brenda had a baby. – [Q] I think it’s C. – I might just roll with you on C, because I know it ain’t D. – Purple rain, purple rain
– Oh… – Wow. – Apollonia is a Kanye West line. I don’t know what he’s referencing, or what it is, but I’m
just gonna go with that, because I don’t know. (bell dings) God is good. – Did you get that right? – I did, indeed. – Look at you! – The thing is, I asked
if it was a Bible verse and God heard me, and so he said, “It’s not, but here’s the answer.” – It was the Holy Spirit. – Give it to God. – Mmm, bless.
– Blessed be. – Look at you. – Oh, this is easy. – I kinda wanna test it out. I wanna be introduced to him, and if he, like, doesn’t open up and tell me kind of, like, his fears and all of his traumas… – His, like, credit card number. – Yeah, like, I wanna
see what Future will do. – [Key] Young Metro don’t
trust you, I’ma fight you. – He’s the producer. Oh, you gave me the answer? – This is mine. My answer. – Give us all black people
you’d probably have to be over the age of, like,
50, to get that one wrong. – I mean, I’ll put up
C because she said it. Is it fight? Oh! – If Young Metro don’t trust
you, I’ma shoot you, eh. – In the car, she’d turn
off the car, look back, don’t ask for nothing,
don’t look at nothing, do not touch anything. – In that order. – All of them. – Whose mom said one of them? – Yeah, yeah, it’s like– – You know what, you don’t look at it, but you can touch it.
– Touch it. – Definitely D
– Yeah, definitely D is right. – All of the above. – That’s how you gotta
huddle up, it’s like, Y’all don’t touch shit,
y’all don’t do nothing. You do a little break. Break!
– Break – Now who put diabetes in there. (laughs) You ain’t right. – I’m gonna go with A, B, and C. – You like grape drink? – No, but black people do. – I don’t give a fuck what you say, everybody like fried chicken, but we just be flexing
it better than everybody. – I guess fried chicken and… – Grape drink. I will say that my authentic
stereotypical black self loves me some fried chicken. – I think I would say B, grape Kool-Aid. (buzzer buzzing) – Fried chicken, live and die by the bird. – That’s why they think you like diabetes. – That’s fine. – That’s a good question. – Yeah, yeah, ’cause
it was a lot of options – All them options
could get you messed up. – Depending on who you fucking with. – [Amal] Oh, that’s hard. – I’ll fight everybody for all of these. – I’m gonna go with A. The potato salad is a staple of a cookout. – I might have to go with
walking in and not speaking, ’cause you don’t gotta
bring something every time, ’cause some people know
that you can’t cook. – A – I personally don’t like potato salad. I say renege during
Spades, are you kidding? – Uh, yeah. I think you could get shot for doing that. (laughs) – You walk in and you see grandma, you just don’t say nothing, and you brought somebody with you– – It don’t even matter your attitude, it don’t matter how you feeling. You better walk in and say something. – You could be smiling, but
you better open your mouth. – Mom, I’m pretty sure,
has said this to me, like, in Somali. – Really? (laughs) – It’s a universal language. – [Shauna] It is a universal language. It’s the black parents’ love language. – First of all can you
imagine your black momma turn around saying, “Get a clue.” (laughs) – Straight up, you would need some D. You would need some McDonald’s money. – Anything, just anything. It’s not just McDonald’s. Ma, can I get this new toy? Better have some damn toy money. Oh, Mom, can I go here? You better have some here money. – Hey, mom, prom coming up. You got prom money? – You got field trip money? It’s $3, mom, pipe down. – It’s a universal
thing, everyone knows it. I think they give it soon
as you birth a black child. They immediately give you a handbook, and the first page says, “Repeat at every acceptable situation.” – No, but you gotta say
it to your babies, too. You got formula money? – I hear you crying, you got diaper money? – Right – That feels good to know that my black card is able to
be held on to for today. – Did you ever doubt that we
were gonna have them revoked? No. – This is dumb, I don’t think
I should lose my black card. Who’s getting cussed out for
not speaking at a cookout, because, especially in 2018,
Cardi B already addressed this. – If I don’t see you and I don’t speak… It means I don’t fuck with you. (electronic music)

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. I need that game and I remember one time I wanted burger king and another I wanted McDonald's and my dad was like you got burger king money I was like yeah and the signature with my mom you got McDonald's money I was hues I do why she say good you can get me something I was mad but I got to go but how about one time even though I had the money they was like no we going fools at home I was heated

  2. @ my family when I walk paste without talking – “SOOOOO U JUST GONNA ACT LIKE U DONT KNOW NOBOD- Ight i got something for u …. GET OUT MY BACK YARD GIVE ME THAT PLATE AND WALK URSELF BACK HOME 😐😐😐”

  3. I feel like you're gonna get cussed out when playing spades no matter what happens, but you definitely need to speak when you walk in

  4. Like yallz, I'm already the stated white child of my family, but I held on to my card…I feel a little something inside😐😂

  5. Now she know she ain't telling her momma to "pipe down" that will get her the "who the hell you think you talking to" line followed by the "girl I will slap the black off you, keep talking" line real quick

  6. GOD I WAS CRINGING their parents failed them if they couldn't recite PURPLE RAIN by heart in adulthood…. I am 18 and I can smh CARD REVOKED

  7. Yh He definitely needed his black card revoked. How do you NOT know that you can’t just walk through a black event (usually family event) and not greet at the VERY least, the elders?🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

  8. Lmao. U people put a Somali to represent Black Americans? That's like sending a White Canadian to represent Polish people.

  9. "you in the car and she turn around and go: don't touch nothin, don't look at nothin, don't ask for nothin, or you get an ass woopin"

  10. It’s like playing the Jew never run seem like a great panel…fun, intelligent, insightful…love it

  11. am I a buzzkill because this is super stereotypical & not at all reflective of all black cultures so I feel like it promotes a negative stereotype of harsh communication & constant anger.

  12. His black
    Definitely needs to
    Be revoked because every black person knows that if we don’t fux with you.WE AINT COMING TO YOUR COOKOUT!

  13. Carlton said who is getting cussed out for walking in and not speaking…You,you Carlton are getting cussed out for not speaking!

  14. Honestly, it's just rude not to say anything when you go to a cookout, I wouldn't think that that would be the answer because it's just common politeness or something.

  15. I'm black but I was born and raised in Europe so I'd be horrible at this lmao, these are all american stereotypes of black people.

  16. lol most of my family is mixed but ig we just embrace our black side more lmao cause all those things apply to us

  17. "Don't ask for nothing, don't look at nothing, don't touch nothing, or you're getting your butt whooped." Enough said.

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