Carmilla | S3 E22 “Fun and Mind Games”


[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]
Hello, sweetheart.
You know I can’t say this is the reception your doting mother was hoping for.
Oh, gee, you’re right. Sorry. Remind me, how does Emily Post suggest welcoming an Evil God possessing her friend?
Are you really going to pretend to care about Curly Sue?
Believe me, this is the most good the little piglet’s ever been to anyone.
With her head full of sugar and spice and everything…useless
You-You shut up!
Give her back, GIVE HER BACK!
Okay, let’s not give the omnipotent evil an easy out by breaking the circle, okay.
My, my, my! Touchy aren’t we?
Why are you doing this?
Doing what, poppet? In case you haven’t noticed, you kidnapped me.
Why do any of it?
Possessing people, feeding girls to evil Gods, trying to open the Gates Of Hell?
What, did you find a book labelled “Villainy: 101”, or were all the good God gigs just picked over by the time it was your turn?
Ugh, don’t bother. It’d be easier getting a straight answer out of a snake.
Snakes are such misunderstood creatures.
Some ophiophobe writes a smash bestseller, and suddenly you’re to blame for all the evils of the world.
Oh, is that what’s going on here? You and snakes, just the victims of bad press?
‘Cause that doesn’t explain the part where you’re trying to end the world.
What’s so wonderful about this little carnival ride, hm?
I’ve seen a lot more of the world than you have. And do you want to know what makes it go ’round?
Greed. Hypocracy. Stupidity. Violence, the strong prey on the weak, the corrupt on the foolish, and…
even those with the best of intentions can hardly help but do more harm than good.
Let’s be honest. The world really isn’t going to be any worse from my opening The Gates and taking over.
Just…abruptly quieter.
We stopped you before.
Stopped me?
Oh, poodle, if anything you made all of this possible!
Without you and the glorious mess you’ve made I’d still be on the board’s leash.
You’ll be back on it soon enough.
And how do you plan to accomplish that? Given that you shredded that fool, Vordenberg, like a tissue.
We have the first three talismans–
Okay, yeah that’s enough
But! She’s!!
Officially got you explaining our plans to her
Oops!
Oooh! So forceful!
Guess we know who’s in charge these days, that’s a surprising change for you, Dear.
Well what can I say?
You inspire me.
We’ll go through our plans somewhere a little less earshot.
And leave me here? All by my lonesome?
What ever will I do?
We’ll watch her in shifts.
[Carm, offscreen] She’s going to try to get into our heads. But don’t let her.
Don’t talk to her.
Don’t listen to her.
She will try to break us.
She will sow dissent.
She preys on weakness.
Is she out?
Yeah.
Nothing like umptine hours spent emotionally annihilating your enemies to leave you plumb tuckered.
I told you not to listen to her.
Everything she says is a lie, Laura.
Except it isn’t.
Everything she says is true.
Yeah, the way she says it is all horrible and twisty like some evil total perspective vortex but it’s still true.
She’s loose because of me, there’s no getting Vordenberg heart to stop her because of me
and even if I had the best–
Okay, stop!
Stop.
Look, you’re struggling, and you’re allowed to.
Because, Cupcake, the universe is huge, and it’s arbitrary and uncaring.
You know, one moment you can get sucked into a Hell pit and the next moment you can get pulverized by a meteor, and
really in the grand spectrum of things it’ll mean nothing.
If this is your cheering up speech, it needs a little work.
Okay, well, I was evil for the better part of three centuries, so, you know, give me a break.
The point is, if nothing means anything then the only thing that means something is what we make.
You know? I mean, look at me.
I used to use hopelessness as an excuse for all of the awful things that I did.
Until this…prissy little overachiever that I was…totally planning on handing over to my Mother
unravelled all of my plans.
Because she thought we all deserved better.
Even me.
And, yeah, you are flawed.
And struggling, and uncertain, but
it is so
beautiful.
The way you try.
What?
To hell with “light and casual”.
I don’t want to be light and casual with you.
I don’t want to pretend that what I feel about you is some stupid, frothy thing that doesn’t matter, because
it is like the axis that my world turns on.
And yeah,
we could talk ourselves out of it because,
this is scary and, and hard, and, and maybe the world is about to end, but–
If it is, then I want us to have something good to hold on to.
I love you.
Why shouldn’t that be something good?
[clap]
[clap]
[clap]
Oh. How sweet.
Doomed, clearly.
But still, very sweet.
Oh you have no idea how much I’m going to enjoy killing you.
Run along now, Carm.
Time for Maman and I to have a little talk about exactly who’s doomed.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. carmilla just gave an angel (from buffy) speech 😄 "if nothing means anything then the only thing that means something is we make"

    he said something very similar

  2. Did anyone else notice Laura's lil corner-of-her-mouth smile when Carm called her Cupcake? (heartthrob moment!!!)

  3. I want a compilation of eVERY SINGLE TIME THEY GET INTERRUPTED
    IM SURE THE MAJORITY OF THOSE SCENES WOULD BE PERRY ;_;

  4. No matter how many times I rewatch all 3 seasons this episode has my favorite scene between Laura and Carmilla

  5. You know this is my favorite episode of the whole series.. because of these speeches. I remember how it started.. when Laura hated Carmilla by heart, how Carmilla first flirted with her… and now they are ready to die for each other. I think this was the most important, most beautiful part of all of it. <3

  6. okay but can we talk about how carmilla actually talked about her first love and not laura (not a bad thing, but it's really cool that she still remembers her in a light way, even tho she kinda betrayed her)

  7. OMFFFGGGGGGG IM CRYIIINGGGG SHE SAIIIID IIITTTT SHEEEE LOVEEES CARRRMMM DODMDNISKS OMFFFGGGG OMFFFFFGGGGG OMFFFFFFFF FFF FF F F G GGGGG

  8. GUYS !! I SAW A BEHIND THE SCENE OF THIS EMOTIONAL PART AND ELISE AND NATASHA WAS REALLY CRYING !! after the cut of the scene they were so calm and had a lot of difficulty to look at each other. Like It was just so real…

  9. My throat got so dry watching this especially that speech Carm did. That speech was amazing! So many great monologues this season that hit me right in the feel box

  10. I know I'm two years late to this party, but how is no one talking about Mattie swooping in all big sister badass to talk about who's going to be doomed? Like, I have to go watch it again.

  11. Two years later, that speech and that fucking perfect I love you still made my gay heart explode <3 Most beautiful moment on Carmilla <3 My gay scream when I first saw this was so loud lmao, I think the whole world discovered I was gay

  12. Amo a la oars9na que tradujo esto al español. Los comentarios son muy chistosos. Si algún día lees esto estoy muy agradecida contigo

  13. Shit, I’m crying and screaming❤️😭😭😭
    I’m not okay, help please it’s so cute,
    I LOVE YOU

  14. Well, Carmilla sure does have a mean mommy it seems, in an awful lot of ways too, regarding "mean". Not definitions, but methods, that is.

  15. I'd say to those women, the younger ones, mind you "I'm with you ladies in the rescue operation you're trying to do, but Carmilla's right, Laura, when it comes to tactics of dealing with a demonically possessed friend, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM*, you're *NOT hearing your friend, believe me… gangster spirits (demons) are LIARS to the core, period. And Laura, if Carmilla's mom is a witch, then she's demonically possessed, and thus is going to be sadistic after a really short time, so she'll use crude and gross terms for the bedroom antics the two of you engaged in, no wonder you spat out the cookie while she was talking to you." By the way, ladies, that was good acting for hinting at the bizarre apparently sexual lines that the witch used in regard to Laura's love-life, as well as the hinted-at nature of how a very high-level demon is in fact possessing Carmilla's mommy, and also the short-haired girl's friend. That was really good work you actresses did in this, congratulations at both having the weird and gross actions hinted at and the keeping it relatively modest for a show- I really do appreciate that quality work you folks have done in this web series!

  16. About those characters' relationship (Laura and Carmilla that is), Laura was right; they're addicted to eachother's bodies!

  17. when you get heartbroken and annoyed at the same time listening to the love of your life talk shit about herself 3:28 😭❤️ WE LOVE A BROODY GAY CARMILLA

  18. “To hell with light and casual” & that kiss after OMG I FELT THAT SO DEEPLY
    MY HEART STARTED POUNDING
    Oh & the “i love u” AHHHHH

    Be still my gay heart 🥺♥️♥️

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