Omega Virus – Board James (Episode 20) Game Review
Let’s play a game.
I don’t get to play very much any more,
and I’ve been bored.
And when Board James is bored,
I play some board games.
You like board games, right?
Well, let’s check out the attic here and dust off some old memories.
Wow, it’s amazing all the stuff you can find. Childhood relics that have been locked away for so long.
Remember all of these, the Elvis board games? I don’t.
Elvis King Of Rock, Elvis Monopoly, Elvis-Opoly?!
Do you think there’s enough?
No Respect? Rodney Dangerfield gets his own game too?
Where did I get this game? Let me see this.
This is the ugliest board I’ve ever seen. That guy still gets no respect.
What does stacking numbered columns have to do with Rodney Dangerfield?
Has anyone ever played this?!
Even the people on the back of the box couldn’t take the picture without drinking whiskey.
Object of the game: as the top-level executive of a large corporation, each player makes monthly decisions
regarding the purchase of raw materials and the manufacturing and selling of finished goods.
Wow, real exciting game.
Somebody has no fucking imagination!
Of all the things you can make board games about! Dragons, battleships, medieval armies, business management.
All right, let’s see what I got here.
Yeah, now we’re fucking talking!
The Omega Virus. This is what you call a board game.
It’s the type of game my friends wouldn’t want to play. It’s too complicated.
They called me a nerd for playing It.
The moment you open the box, they say ‘Oh shit, my mom’s calling me.’
Well, now it’s not like I have anybody to play with anyway, because…
Look at the detail. This is a work of art right here.
The instruction manual looks like a comic book.
It is a comic book.
And instructions. This is amazing.
The year is 2051. The place is Battle-SAT 1 Space Station, equipped with lasers designed to protect the Earth from meteors.
All of a sudden, the station is taken over by a computer virus.
Class-8, omega, self-replicating, highly anthrophobic.
The virus aims the station’s lasers toward planet Earth to annihilate all humans.
You take control of the highly-trained commandos.
The objective: find the virus and terminate It.
The only way to stop it is by finding three AVDs.
What, you don’t know what AVDs are?
Anti-virus devices. Duh.
The negatron, the disruptor, and the decoder.
The game works on a time limit. You can set it anywhere between ten and thirty minutes, depending on the patience of your friends.
When the timer runs out, the virus takes over and everybody loses.
So you gotta play quick. It puts a fire under your ass.
Before you can find the AVDs, you have to gain access to the colored rooms by finding access cards.
So the more cards you have, the more rooms you can enter.
When you enter a room, you explore it by punching in the room code. [Electronic voice: 0, 1, 0]
[Electronic voice: blue access card found]
Okay, I put in two to explore, and then one point, two points- [Electronic voice: Fifteen minutes until time.]
I’m trying to put in the code! Shut up! [Electronic voice: Hehehe!]
[Electronic voice: 1, 2, 0. Probe found.]
I found a probe robot. That’s like having a second player, so you can cover twice the space.
Oh, and speaking of which, to win, you want to be the first player to stop the virus, so it’s a competitive game.
Imagine if there WAS a virus ready to destroy the Earth.
Couldn’t they all cooperate?
[Electronic voice: Blue, help me.]
[Electronic voice – mockingly: Help me, help me, help me] Shut up, Shut up!
I’m trying to play the fucking game!
[Electronic voice – in disgust: You human scum.]
What’s the point of putting in codes anyway?
How about just have a deck of cards?
Even better, put the cards on the rooms. One for each player.
That way, you don’t have to keep track of which rooms you’ve already been in.
[Electronic voice: Yellow, help me.]
But wouldn’t you miss that voice?
[Electronic voice: Help me, help me. Fool.]
[Electronic voice – in disgust: You human scum.]
Not to mention, you have to keep track of a secret code that’s unique to each player.
If you hear your code after you’ve explored a room, that means the virus is in that room.
For that particular player. Not for the others.
[Electronic voice: Security breach! Security breach!] Oh no, the virus is attacking!
Gotta defend by punching in two random numbers.
[Electronic explosion sounds]
[Electronic voice laughing]
Find the AVDs. There isn’t enough. 0, 1, 2, center shut down.
Disruptor locator, 0, 2, 0, reverse the anti-matter integrator!
Use the auto-1 matter neutralizer!.
[Electronic sounds] Play the standard isolation systems. Increase the quantum gravinite thrusters!
Polarize the alphatronic materialization stratowave! 1, 2, 0! [Electronic Sounds]
Reflectatron! 1, 2, 2!
[Electronic voice: Enter room code – 0, 0, 2.] Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Woah Woah Woah!